I'm fairly good at showing instead of telling. At least most of the time. When it comes to scenery and action, the words tend to flow. I can get better. Will get better. All my writing can get better. But in the grand scheme of my writing, scenery/action showing is a step above others.
However, that's not what the reader wants, in most cases. They want to know that the character is feeling the same things they are. (Or, more importantly, perhaps they're not.) That they can get in the character's head and understand why they do what they do, what they're thinking.
Now, mind you, there are many expressed feelings in my MS. It is not void of feeling. But there definitely isn't enough.
It sounds so simple as I sit here and write this post, but clearly its something I overlooked and am thankful I have those who point it out and help me become a better writer. I am able to do it, to take their note that says 'but what does he FEEL here?' and add words which should have been there all along. I just need that helpful nudge to point it out.
And once I've got a fairly good handle on this, some other issue will creep up. Stick around CPs. I'm gonna need ya. ;)
What's your area(s) that you struggle with when writing your MS? (This is where we get to sit on the couch instead of our characters. :))
I am just like you, Kelley. I struggled with internal, thinking that by "showing" what was going on it did the job, and I excelled establishing settings. I think I've gotten better at creating a balance between everything just by practice practice practice, and of course, my lovely CP's pointing it all out.
ReplyDeleteYes, practicing certainly helps. And then when they slip through the cracks your CPs are there to fill em up with puddy ;)
DeleteThere are so many things I think I need to work on. Showing, instead of telling, is definitely one of them. I'll go back and read old writing and think "Holy cow!" I find it really hard to come up with original ways of explaining what someone is feeling, or how something looks (at least, in a way that would make sense to anyone else.) I have been utilizing the Bookshelf Muse's emotion thesaurus quite frequently during edits. Those women deserve accolades for compiling such a useful bunch of information!
ReplyDeleteOoo, I've never heard of that Lara. Or wait, maybe I have on your blog? Either way, I have to check that out!
DeleteThat's my biggest problem at the moment, trying to nail characters feelings and make their emotions come alive. I thought I had, but it's too subtle for some. But that's what CPs are for - helping us figure this stuff out! :)
ReplyDeleteYes! That was my thing in some places too. It was like, here's a taste, you can fill your emotions in as well. :)
DeleteThanks David!
Yes! I so get this. I write very plot driven... I love to create the mood, the setting, the action.... But I do struggle with character development--character has been my HUGE focus with my WIP... Oh the joys of learning ;)
ReplyDeleteI think my character development as far as action is pretty good, but yes, internally, definitely needs work :)
DeleteI'm right there with you! I have a hard time with telling emotions instead of describing them and getting the reader to feel them. It's definitely a constant struggle, but also makes writing fun! Hooray for CP's, what would we do without them???
ReplyDeleteIt does make writing fun! And when I get a note that says 'this is great description but what is she feeling?' and then I force myself to come up with something to impress my CP, its like 'dang! She's totally right! This is SO much better!'
DeleteThat's what CP's are for right? Because we authors feel everything already. It's in our head, our hearts. But do we help the reader feel all that too? That's the key point there. Excellent post my Kelley. You are just a fab writer. :D
ReplyDeleteExactly Cassie. I feel it all. I know EXACTLY what my characters are feeling so its like, why put words on the page to describe it? The readers will feel that emotion too?
DeleteBut, alas, that is not how it works :)
I'm a plot girl but I do struggle with setting.
ReplyDeleteAren't plots so fun to write?? Love those ;)
DeleteKelley, I think I need you, because I have the opposite problem LOL! I can write feelings with ease. But when it comes to descriptions and settings - bah. I find it really, really hard!
ReplyDeleteKyra, do you write in first person? I wonder if its easier to focus on character feelings in first. My current MS is in third...
DeleteHmm....
I write in both, but the two I'm working on at the moment are both in first which definitely makes it easier!
DeleteVery cool. The next one I plan on tackling will be in first so I'm interested to see what issues I have with that one :)
DeleteIf you need any help, just let me know! :D
DeleteI neglect my character's feelings too! CP's are great at discovering this sort of thing. Right now though I think my big head ache is dropping out of the character's voice when I write descriptions. It's always something! :)
ReplyDeleteYes, its always something! Voice is definitely difficult. I've had a little slippage of POV as well. Thankfully we have CPs :)
DeleteGreat post, Kelley. I thought I was really good at showing, but my CP quickly put me in my place, haha. I used to be horrible at showing emotions, but I think I am really starting to get the hang of it. I definitely have to act out the scenes, sometimes in my head and sometimes not. I look pretty goofy half the time shooting space lasers and dodging supernatural attacks, lol! But it's a must to get the emotion!
ReplyDeleteHaha! Oh my gosh, I would LOVE to see you act out your scenes. I can only imagine how effective that must be though!!
DeleteHmmm...maybe I should try that. :)
I think I struggle with telling more than showing. I'm usually very heavy with descriptions so I have go back and trim afterwards.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Kelley. :)
Thanks Tracey! Yeah, that's why I make sure to do a few revisions before sending it out to my CPs. Otherwise they'd be typing 'show' every other paragraph :)
DeleteI used to struggle with showing instead of telling. It seems to be the favourite issue here. And no matter how many times my CP's kept trying to explain what the differences were, it kept going over my head. I couldn't see what they were going on about...but now I do. They were very patient with me but had great fun beating it in to me...lol. It's no longer an issue now :)
ReplyDeleteHaha. They had fun beating it into you. :)
DeleteI thought I was getting it down to, but there are definitely areas I need to work on. I do believe that I fundamentally understand why, now. Which is very important.
Thanks DRC for stopping by!
You know I'm big on the emotion :) I really believe that it's the emotion that connects us to the characters more than anything else. I don't look at internalization as telling. To me it's exactaly the same as dialogue :)
ReplyDeleteYes, you were one of the two who inspired me with this post :) I can't thank you enough Angie for the tough love!! My MS thanks you too :)
DeleteGood luck! There are so many pieces to the masterpiece puzzle, it makes my head spin some days.
ReplyDeleteSo true! Isn't it? Whoa. There's just so much to think about. That's why it takes a village :)
DeleteThis is why writing in 1st person is a little easier - it naturally allows the reader to know the protagonist's most intimate thoughts.
ReplyDeleteSince you told me that you write in 3rd person limited (as I do), it IS tougher to show those feelings without doing a whole lot of telling. So let the character's actions (big and small) convey their feelings. So it's more of a challenge to show and not tell in 3rd person POV limited for sure!
That's why 1st person POV is easier in some ways - it naturally allows the reader to know the protagonist's innermost thoughts.
ReplyDeleteBut since you write in 3rd person limited (as do I), it's more of a challenge. Since you don't want to be telling all over the place you have to show the emotions and feelings. And that's not so easy.
So you have to show the characters' feeling from dialog and action. Not so easy, and it does make the reader have to get more engaged with your writing (a little more effort).
You are so right Jay. I'm loving your series on POV. Thanks for stopping by!
DeleteHA! Love this post. I had someone really go through my MS with a fine tooth comb and that question came up so much she apologized for becoming so repetitive. She also pointed out that 3rd person can be one of the reasons writers do that. We say she, so we don't relay what the person is seeing and feeling. I think you do an excellent job with Akara (at least so far ;0)
ReplyDeleteAnd you are the other one missy who inspired this post! That darn Rydan. He's got to learn to express his feelings more ;)
DeleteI have just the opposite problem, I love dialogue so sometimes I get carried away with the talking then the reader has no idea where they are!
ReplyDeleteOh haha! I love dialog too! But we do have to remember to place them somewhere ;)
DeleteThanks for stopping by!
I totally know what you mean. I'm the exact same way. Even though my writing style is in 1st person I still have a hard time adding the emotion to my protagonist. I think the reader will get what she is feeling through her actions. I mean actions do speak louder than words. Right!?!? But it’s still lacking. And you mentioned showing/not telling. I thinking I’m pretty good at showing/not telling but then I read it and I ask myself “is this right?” Ugh – so frustrating. I finally decided to write my heart out and if they don’t like it – tough crap.
ReplyDeleteLove this piece. BTW – I could feel your emotion in this post.
Right! Actions speak louder the words! Haha. Sometimes :)
DeleteThat's inevitably what we have to do though. Write. Then look back through it, try to catch things ourselves. But ultimately someone else has to look at it to tell us what's missing. Because we wrote it. We surely knew what we felt as we wrote it ;)
I'm the exact same way, Kelley! It's so nice to meet someone else with this "problem." I learned to "show" so well that I have a horrible time telling emotions. And I get sick of "showing" emotion because it can get so cheesy --"her heart pounded against her ribcage"..."Her stomach knotted," etc... Do you know what I mean? So, yes, I'm working on that, too. Probably my biggest problem next to wandering plot lines. :)
ReplyDeleteYes! I feel like when I show emotions I'm doing the same thing and trying to come up with different words but its so hard! :)
DeleteI'm in editing mode right now, and I'm struggling to "keep my voice" during the cut. My main beta reader says I'm not pulling my voice out, but it's been one of my top worries.
ReplyDeleteAlways something! Ack! :)
Ah yes, the voice. It so true because when you revise or add things here and there, its important to make sure it flows with the rest, especially the voice.
DeleteOH man - this is awesome. Hmmm. I wonder if I do this. Now I have to go read your latest crit. hahaha. Good thinking on this tho, and so true! But you are a brilliant writer. And I'm always here when you need me :)
ReplyDeleteAwww... :) thanks girlie! I think there were a few places I said, 'Ooo, what does she feel here??' You have such a beautiful world you've created that sometimes we forget to clue the reader in to what the MC is feeling about it :)
DeleteI struggle with scene/action description, which is why I'm having a go at scriptwriting.
ReplyDeleteOh wow! Good for you Martin!
Deleteshowing feelings and bringing the reader into my character's head is a big prob for me too!
ReplyDeleteglad to relate!
Hey! We can struggle together! :)
DeleteIt is good to know I'm not the only one with this issue though ;)
I think I tend to share too MANY of my characters' feelings. :-) I also have noticed an alarming tendency for purple prose to crop up in dramatic situations. I had to cut a whole bunch of that out of my last novel. Thank the LORD we can edit!
ReplyDeleteAh yes. I critiqued a manuscript recently and the writer's style is SO beautiful, her writing so descriptive. But there are some times, especially in action scenes, that you have to just cut right to it. Its super hard though to cut those beautiful words out because I love them!
DeleteSometimes I struggle with making a distinction between the voices of different characters. Now that I'm consciously aware of this fault, I'm getting much better at integrating characters' voices into the first drafts of my novels. However, I recently had to do a big rewrite where I focused solely on distinguishing the linguistic variation between characters.
ReplyDeleteOoo, that's an interesting dilemma. Its great you've figured it out though and know to work on it.
DeleteHey Kelley, It's funny, when I read your MS, I didn't get the vibe that you needed more emotion, I'm on the opposite end of your scale, I tell people too much! lol. I'm editing right now and implementing your fabulous critique. Thanks so so much :) xx
ReplyDeleteYeah, I think the fine line is that I'm pretty good at making the reader feel emotion through showing the crap out of the scenery and action, etc. But I sometimes forget to describe what the characters emotion is. :)
DeleteI'm all for the showing not telling, but I tend to do the same thing. I leave out what the character is thinking at that moment because the reader should be able to SEE it, right? Wrong.
ReplyDeleteRight! Right!
DeleteI'm totally with you.
But, yes, alas. We are wrong :(
I'm the exact opposite, which you probably have figured out by now, that's why we're a great match! I'm okay with the action stuff, it's the scenery that gets me, I'm terrible at it. So be ready to help me out with your beautiful word spinning when I finally get to editing book 2 :)
ReplyDeleteI am SO ready! Bring it on babe! :)
DeleteI NEED more Grayson :)
It's so awesome that your CPs are good at catching the areas you need to work on. It makes things so much easier when you have that help
ReplyDeleteIt totally does. I trust them completely to help me make my work shine. And they do a fabulous job, IMO :)
DeletePoignant post:) I've had the same issue with show not tell. On the one hand it's great, but sometimes you have to let the reader into the character's head:)
ReplyDeleteThanks Mark. You are right. Its good to have that balance
DeleteI think we are a lot alike in that area. I am great with showing and action, but I need to bring more feeling to my characters. I need my audience to love my characters. I'm still learning, too.
ReplyDeleteThat is a great point. If we don't let the reader into our character's head, how do they fall in love with them. How do they know them like we do?
DeleteThanks for the reminder about the character's feeling. A member of my writing group just told me that she wanted to know one of my character's reaction to a situation. I'm glad that your post is kind of telling me why I need to show it.
ReplyDeleteWhy thank you Peaches! Glad it came at the right time ;)
DeleteAren't CPs great?
ReplyDeleteI think my biggest weakness is the transition between scenes. I tend to blab way too much instead of just getting from a to b. This has been nice being able to really think about this.
Thanks!
Ooo, that is an interesting dilemma. I think that is very valid though. We want to make sure we don't just pop from one place to another, but we must make sure we get there in the most concise, fluid way possible.
DeleteThanks for sharing Deana!
My biggest weakness used to be using passive voice instead of active. I'm doing a whole lot better now, since my crit partners, one in particular call me out on it. One thing I struggle with the most is world building. I'm great at dialogue (or so I'm told) but I don't add enough detail to my worlds. :)
ReplyDeleteAh! I love crit partners. Especially kind yet honest ones.
DeleteAnd good for you for being good at dialog! SO important.
This, I think, is where I do best - emotion. i was a theater major, and so for me, the story is more about the emotion than the action.
ReplyDeleteThe problem is that I end up with stories that are a bit "quiet" for the national market, which I'm totally okay with because people still seem to want to publish them, lol
Well I can't WAIT to read your book. :)
DeleteWe're always walking the line between just to balance everything out in novels. Almost every book has a couple certain elements that stand out above others. It is not to say the other things can lack, however. It is a precarious dance, indeed.
ReplyDeleteI think good description and action should always do double-duty, and should actually be doing most of the "this is how she feels" work. Setting can create a tone that matches their feelings, and so can any description: the way they look down between lines of dialog, or smile to themselves, refuse to look at something, change the subject, etc., are all more effective than simply narrating their feelings.
ReplyDeletePlay to your strengths and use your descriptions to show feeling.
I'm best with conversation. My problem is a 50/50 when doing descriptions sometimes I'm great other times I just get stuck or write something that I realize quickly is crap. It's annoying because I don't know when it will happen it's like your pet jumping on your face in one of those comedies. You don't know when it will get the crazies.
ReplyDeleteSo keep writing Kelley and use your strengths and work on your weaknesses.