Ready for part two of the I’m Hearing Voices Blogfest?
I am!
Here again are two characters from my YA Fantasy, querying manuscript, FRACTION OF STONE. Take it away Kara and Tristan!
Tristan: Whoa, this is a lot of people! Do you think they’re really interested in learning about us? …. Kara?
Kara: What? Oh, sorry. I guess they are.
 |
| Per Christina's request I've added pictures. Just add a smile to this guy and this is Tristan. |
Tristan: Okay, then. Feel free to walk with us. We’re kind of on a long journey and can’t stop. I’m Tristan. I live with my grandmother in our destroyed, crumbling village. Our village was once bustling with magic wielders and a bunch of other neat things but the other two tribes demolished everything, including everyone except my grandmother and I.
Kara: And me and Rydan.
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| There aren't any two headed dragons in my story. But this is a pretty good idea of Kara. |
Kara: Forgive him for his language. The tattoos, piercings and extreme amount of energy can be a little overwhelming at first, but he can be a pretty funny, nice guy.
Tristan: Aw! Really? You think I’m funny?
Kara: Sure.
Tristan: That’s probably the nicest thing you’ve ever said about me.
Kara: I said you were nice too.
Tristan: Yeah, that was nice of you.
Kara: …
Tristan: Forgive Kara. She doesn’t really say much. We’ve been traveling together for weeks. Usually it’s just Rydan and I that do all the talking.
Kara: I talk.
Tristan: Yeah. Okay.
Kara: I do. I just don’t have as much to say.
Tristan: Then why don’t you tell everyone a little bit about yourself?
Kara: Maybe we can save that for later…
Tristan: Kara!
Kara: What? Hey…what’s that on your foot?
Tristan: Oh gross! How is it possible to step in animal feces both in the book as well as during an interview!? This is completely not fair…
Too cute. I see a love-hate relationship here. Maybe it will become something more? I want to know how Kara is going to save our sorry asses.
ReplyDeleteYes, totally love hate. :)
DeleteI love that they wouldn't stop and we had to follow if we wanted to know about them. LOL
ReplyDeleteI really like Tristan :) I think you should post a picture, yeah I want to know what he looks like to you, hehe!
Okay, I'll post a picture. I have to find one that does him justice... :)
DeleteFunny! I like Tristan:) Poor guy stepping in crap made me like him more.
ReplyDeleteAlso, that's funny you have a Rydan in your book. I have a Ryden:)
That's so cool! I thought Rydan would be a different name but I'm excited its somewhere else too :)
DeleteHaha! I'm so glad he stepped in poop again, lol. At least he'll know how to get it off his foot this time! :)
ReplyDeleteUm, I miss Rydan though. Is he taking care of his biz and setting off an alarm? ;)
LOL! Yes, he was. He'll be back, no worries :)
DeleteLOL This was fun!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you enjoyed it!
DeleteHAHA. Both of these characters sound great!
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm guessing he stepped in poop during Monday's interview? Nice.
~JD
Well, he actually steps in poo in the story. So I thought why not add it in here too :)
DeleteLOL I loved it! Now I want to know more of the story! Great job :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Jess!
DeleteThat was funny, Kelley. Aww, I love the characters already. And the stepping in poop is classic!
ReplyDeleteHaha. Yeah, Tristan's kinda the goof off so I thought I might as well do something funny to him :)
DeleteThis is great because both characters were distinctly different... even in this short "excerpt" I got a sense of who both of them were... that's nice! Verrrrry fun, Kelley! :D
ReplyDeleteThank you Morgan! It's good that their totally different personalities came out :)
DeleteFor some reason I like "wicked ugly" and "sorry asses" - they have great voice to them.
ReplyDeleteThank you! That's Tristan for ya :)
DeleteOK. I have to find time in my busy schedule to open this MS up. These guys sound so FUNNY. Love it!!!
ReplyDeleteRydan is pretty funny in an oblivious sort of way in the beginning. But once Tristan makes an appearance, it becomes pretty frickin' hilarious at times :)
DeleteHa! Kara is still a mystery to me. That girl is evasive!
ReplyDeleteYes she is. Sneaky little girl :)
DeleteDo people really say "animal feces" or would they use the word "shit"? I know that sounds vulgar...but it has been a long time since I heard "feces" dropped in conversation.
ReplyDeleteIn the world they're from, they say animal feces. :)
Deleteit just doesn't roll of the tongue the way dung does.
Delete*sorry I couldn't resist being a tiny bit vulgar.
Ooo, They might say dung :)
DeleteGlad you like it. Animal feces is such a mouthful.
DeleteI really need to stop talking about poo with mouth parts.
I was wary of Tristan at first, then he grew on me so fast, he's so fun! Great picture for him too! Seriously close to what I was thinking :) And the feces, hahahahahaha! Good one ;)
ReplyDeleteYeah, I actually remember playing Final Fantasy and the character he sort of looks like is Cloud, pictured above. Though when I wrote Tristan, I didn't realize that was sort of who I was creating. I haven't played that game in over ten years :)
DeleteCourse, Tristan smiles more and has a whole bunch of tattoos. :)
Cute. They bicker like my characters. And I liked the feces bit.
ReplyDeleteHaha. Who doesn't like a bit of feces ;)
DeleteOOh, I haven't met Tristan yet. They've just started on their journey. Always adore a love triangle :) Your writing is suburb by the way :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Jade!
DeleteKelley--Hilarious! I love the banter :) And look at you doing bad things to your characters. I love it *rubs hand maniacally*
ReplyDeleteHaha. Oh geez. Are you evil to your characters too?? :)
DeleteLOL! Oh my gosh, you do this so well! Seriously. I told you Tristan rocks. Just love his voice. It's great! And Kara *sigh* one day we'll get that girl talking :)She could waste 'em all!
ReplyDeleteI agree *sigh* oh Kara. :)
DeleteLoved this - and the illustrations are great too!
ReplyDeleteThanks Hywela! I just found them for this post. So I'm learning about my characters too! :)
DeleteI loved this exchange. The banter was natural and well written.
ReplyDeleteThank you Melissa!
DeleteGreat job!
ReplyDeleteWhy thank you Miss Melodie! :)
DeleteI love how you give Kara so much personality by her few words. And poor Tristan...lol!
ReplyDeleteI never realized how difficult that could be. Luckily the story is written in alternating POV, one of them being Kara's. Otherwise we would know virtually nothing about her because she doesn't share much :)
DeleteLove this, Kelley :) I am so curious about this journey they are on and I like that Kara is the quiet one. So unfortunate he had to step in poop twice. HA.
ReplyDeleteYes...I just have to be a tad bit harsh on my characters sometimes. Comedic releif is a must. Tristan is good for that :)
DeleteCute and funny. Their exchange was very natural.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sharon!
DeleteI like Tristan and Kara! They seem very real to me. It seems like Kara keeps Tristan in line. lol. Your story sounds so cool!!
ReplyDeleteShe does. :) When she talks. Usually she just watches :)
DeleteYour story sounds intriguing. Great exchange between character. Love that you used Cloud as a character model. Always glad to return a follow.
ReplyDeleteI totally forgot about my obsession with Final Fantasy when I was younger. Amazing that Cloud makes a very close Tristan :)
DeleteGreat characters. Good luck on your querying, and a return follow!
ReplyDeleteOoo ,thank you! Fingers crossed the querying goes well :)
DeleteVery intriguing! I love guys that talk alot, it totally flips the stereotype of girls being blabber mouths on its head.
ReplyDeleteYes, and Tristan and Rydan do most of the talking.
DeleteI seriously laughed out loud at the end. So awesome!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you liked it!
DeleteNice dialogue here Kelley - your characters still have their senses of humour, even if they're in pretty tough situations!
ReplyDeleteI think that's important. I'm a person who loves to laugh so its important to me that I can do that every few pages.
DeleteI would definitely read about these two traveling on a post-apocalyptic journey! Great dynamic!
ReplyDeleteThanks Alexis!!!
DeleteGreat picture for Tristan, I'm a Cloud fan as well ^_~
ReplyDeleteI really want to pull out my old Play Station system now... :)
DeleteI was here this morning and I thought I commented - but obviously not. I'll blame it on the dogs. I like Tristan :)
ReplyDeleteOh! I LOVE dogs!!!
DeleteNice work, Kelley!! I could really picture them! It's amazing what you can do with just dialogue!! Good luck with your queries.
ReplyDeleteThank you Cortney!! My fingers are really hurting from being crossed all the time :)
DeleteEww. Poop. Indeterminate poop no less! It could be anything! It could have anything in it! Especially in a fantasy novel. Great work on the dialogue!
ReplyDeleteHaha. Sari, you are a hoot!! It's true. Could have anything....
DeleteKara sounds modest under all that bravado and Tristan seems quite a characetr too.
ReplyDeleteThanks Medeleine!
DeleteGreat introductions. I like the stepping in poop at the end. Too funny.
ReplyDeleteI've gotta put things in there to make people laugh. Life is too funny not to laugh :)
Deletei love the difference in their characters, perfect compliments! and they're so cute!
ReplyDeleteThanks Tara! I'm a Tristan fan even though the MCs are actually Rydan and Kara. :)
DeleteOh I love these two, they sound like they will make a cute couple in the future.
ReplyDeleteWell...we will see. :) Rydan just has to admit his feelings... :)
DeleteI like how these two are swapping blows back and forth throughout the dialogue. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteJWP
Thank YOU for stopping by!
Deleteman, i wrote this great comment, then blogger ate it. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite part was when Kara said "i talk". It made me LOL.
Also, is that Cloud that Tristan looks like? If so, i heartily approve
Yes, Tristan looks like Cloud just with tattoos and piercings :)
DeleteAnd I HATE that when blogger eats your comments. Then it's like...well, I'll leave a comment but it's not going to be as long. Because it could happen AGAIN! :)
Thanks for stopping by!
Lol, I really like the last line. It's tough to be fresh with high fantasy, but you've got these great interesting characters, it makes me want to know more about the story!
ReplyDeleteYes, I agree. High Fantasy is tough to stand out in. I'm glad the characters seem interesting enough to compel you to want to read more!
DeleteLovely insight into your characters! Both voices are very strong, particularly Tristan's - great work!
ReplyDeleteThanks Kyra!
DeleteThis was very good and reminds me why I keep getting R's in my inbox~ the competition is fierce!
ReplyDeleteOh no! Trust me Elizabeth. This is manuscript #4. There were MANY rejections before this one. And there are still those for this one as well. Just gotta keep plugging away!
DeleteThanks for the comment--I loved reading this! Always great to meet talented writers! =)
ReplyDeleteOh my...talented!! *blushes* Why thank you!
Delete*We Meet again* I decided to check out your blog and I love it Kelly. Your dialogue was fun and informative. Tristan's a little whiny but I love Kara. Best of luck with your manuscript.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait for Friday. *whispers* My flash fiction has a cameo of a crazy robot.
Ooo! A crazy robot!!! I'm totally there!
DeleteI'm laughing so hard at the animal feces part of this...Kelley, I love you.
ReplyDeleteHaha. Thanks Christa!
DeleteGreat work, Kelley!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE the name Tristan. (My hubby & I liked it for a child's name, but chose other names instead.)
Yay to the name Kara! I have one in my current WIP. ^_^
That name just came to me. It was time for him to appear and I was writing and it was like this strange guy said, "Blah, blah, blah". Rydan and Kara said, "What's your name?" And my fingers typed. "Tristan". :)
DeleteLove when that happens.
This was a great exchange. Kara and Tristan seem like enjoyable characters, their banter was fun to read with a lot of chemistry.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you liked it! Thanks Clare!
DeleteYou almost had me jump ship from Team Rydan to Team Tristan. Almost. lol. I'm loving these interviews they're really great!
ReplyDeleteHaha. No worries. You can have Rydan ;) But you'll have to fight some others for him I think...
DeleteAnother great dialogue session. It was humorous and I really got a sense of the characters.
ReplyDeleteHaha. Good! :) I like adding humor :) Even though the world is dying, we can have a little fun :)
Deleteobviously like your website but you need to take a look at the spelling on quite a few of your posts.
ReplyDeleteMany of them are rife with spelling issues and I find it very troublesome to inform the
reality nevertheless I'll definitely come again again.
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